Struggling with ADD and ADHD?
As parents, we often fall into the dark pit of guilt. Finding ourselves feeling guilty when in our perfect hindsight, we find our decisions did not result in the expected outcomes. Accepting responsibility for other’s behaviors or attitudes also heaps on the burden of guilt. When we see our children struggling and suffering with the symptoms of ADD and ADHD, our first response is to think, “What can I do to help” my child. Usually we jump into action immediately by trying to control the situation or attempting to diminish the emotional pain our child will experience.
Our desire to protect our children from negative consequences overpowers our rational parenting instincts, and when we fail to alleviate the trials of ADD and ADHD then guilt washes over us. Of course, we assume responsibility and ask “Is it my fault my child has ADHD?”
What Causes ADD and ADHD?
Acknowledging reality is the springboard for moving out of the unproductive state of guilt into the proactive guilt-free arena of being an informed parent. Dr. Russell Barkley spoke to the question of the causes of ADHD in an interview with FRONTLINE. “It’s largely a biological disorder. It has many causes, but all of the known causes fall within the realm of neurology and genetics.” Although we provided the genetic pool for our children, we could not determine the outcome.
In answer to our question of guilt for our child’s diagnosis of ADHD, we find relief in recognizing that we do not have control of the presence of the neurodevelopmental disorder in our child. We can also release the weight of fear and guilt with the understanding that our parenting skills do not cause ADHD.
As Dr. Barkley explained about the diagnosis of ADHD, “We can rule out the social environment, such as bad parenting, intolerant teachers, the breakdown of the American family, a decline in family values, excess amount of TV viewing or video games. These have all been proposed as causes of ADHD. But there’s no evidence that we can find that will substantiate them.”
Parents, crawl out of the debilitating darkness of guilt and move into the empowering light of truth and reality. Enjoy the freedom to love and parent your child guilt-free!
For well over 20 years, Life Tree Counseling has been a, “soft place to land” for so many people. We’d like to help you, too. You can call us right now at 972-234-6634, and we promise to return your call within 60 minutes. Or, visit our website to schedule a time that’s convenient for you, with one of our counselors.
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